Silver Bracelet 01: Transfiguration
by Brandon
Summary: In which a stone is removed from the path.


TITLE: Transfiguration (1/1)   
AUTHOR: Brandon D. Ray   
SPOILER WARNING: Revelations; Momento Mori; Christmas Carol; Emily   
RATING: PG for a little bit of language.   
CONTENT WARNING: Strong religious content, handled as respectfully as I know how.   
CLASSIFICATION: SRA; MSR   
SUMMARY: Sometimes everybody needs a helping hand.   
Yeah, this is a Christmas piece, and it isn't quite the right time of year. But it has to take place at Christmas. You'll understand.   
NOTE: Despite the similarity in titles, this story is in no way related to "Transmigration". 

There are now three sequels to this story (and counting): [As I Knew He Would][1]; [Faith and Acceptance][2]; [Reconciliation][3].   


Transfiguration 

by Brandon D. Ray   


December 24, 10:43 p.m. 

Outside it was cold, and it was snowing. 

Dana Scully sat on the sofa in her mother's living room, sipping hot cocoa and staring at the lights on the Christmas tree. The twinkling, colored bulbs cast the only illumination, and much of the room was lost in shadow. A single tear trickled down her cheek. 

"It's such a pity Fox couldn't join us this year," her mother had said when Scully arrived earlier in the evening. Yeah, Mom, such a pity. "You know he's always welcome here." Not anymore, Mom. 

Scully took another sip of cocoa, and a flash of silver caught her eye. Deliberately, she set down her mug, and held out her arm so that she could examine, once again, the silver bracelet adorning her left wrist. It glinted slightly, reflecting the Christmas lights. It was such a lovely bracelet; such a lovely gift. So sad that she would have to give it back to him. She should have done so immediately; putting it off was just going to make it harder. 

She slipped the bracelet off her wrist, and turned it over in her hands. The lighting was too dim to allow her to read the inscription, but she knew what it said: "All my love. -M" 

All his love. At last. And she could not accept it. 

Mulder had completely blindsided her with the gift that afternoon. Was it really only earlier today? It seemed like a lifetime. They'd been preparing to close the office for the holiday weekend, and he had suddenly told her to stand still and close her eyes. 

Suspecting some sort of a trap, but willing to play along, Scully had complied, and seconds later she felt his hand on her arm, sending as always a thrill of electricity through her body, and then she had felt the cool touch of metal as he slid something over her hand. At his command she had opened her eyes.... 

"Oh, Mulder, it's beautiful!" She had held out her hand and turned it, admiring the bracelet. "It's perfect." She'd looked from the bracelet to his face, and her eyes had widened as she saw a light in his eyes that she had never seen there before. 

"I'm glad you like it, Scully," he'd said, his tone as soft as his eyes. "I, I hoped it would be the right thing." He'd moved closer to her, and touched her chin with his fingertips, and Scully was shocked to see tears in his eyes. "You see, I've been struggling for a long time. Struggling with something inside of me. I...I don't know..." And he'd shrugged helplessly, and given a sheepish smile, both hopeful and terrified, and said, "Aw, hell, Scully, you know I'm no good at this sort of thing." There had been the very briefest of hesitations, then: "I'm in love with you." 

And Dana Scully had burst into tears and fled the room. She had not returned. 

Eventually, she arrived at her mother's home in Baltimore. She had no clear memory of how she had spent the five hours between the time she left the J. Edgar Hoover Building and the time she arrived at her mother's, but she didn't really care. All that she cared about was that she was someplace safe, someplace she could hide. She had greeted her mother briefly and distantly, then gone to her old room, and tried to sleep. 

Mulder had called, of course. She had known that he would. But she had refused the calls. 

Finally, unable to sleep, she had gotten out of bed and gone back downstairs. Her mother had turned in for the night, and Bill and Charlie were both out on deployments, so she'd had the ground floor to herself. She had switched on the Christmas tree lights, then made some cocoa and sank down on the sofa. 

And here she still sat, more than an hour later. In her mind, she kept replaying the scene in the office, over and over and over, and each time it was like a knife stabbing into her heart. How desperately she wanted the love he had offered her; how desperately she yearned for that warmth and comfort. But she couldn't accept it. She just couldn't. 

The worst of it was that he was probably blaming himself for her rejection. She knew beyond any possibility of doubt that she had hurt him terribly by her reaction. She hadn't seen his face, or his body language, or even heard his voice, as she fled from the office. But she didn't need to. She knew Fox Mulder better than anyone in the world, and she felt with brutal empathy the crushing pain that must have descended on him. 

But there was nothing she could do about that, either. 

Oh, Mulder. Why couldn't you have left well enough alone?>> After all the hardships of the last two years, things had finally started to seem okay between them again -- better, in some ways, than they had ever been before. She had felt closer to Mulder, more intimate with him, than she had in years, and she had taken great comfort in that closeness and companionship. If only he had been able to leave it at that. 

She shouldn't blame him, of course. He had done nothing wrong. The fault lay in her. 

The fault lay in her. 

# # # 

Midnight 

Scully awoke with a start. She did not remember falling asleep on the sofa, but clearly she had. She shook her head, trying to clear the muzziness from her mind, then sat up and looked around. 

Something about the room was different. At first she couldn't put her finger on it, but then she realized that there was more light than there had been previously, and that the light was growing stronger by the minute. It was soft and white, and seemed to be everywhere. A few more seconds, and the room was bathed in light, illuminating every nook and cranny, making the Christmas lights seem pale by comparison. 

"Hi, Ms. Scully." 

Scully turned her head sharply, and her eyes widened. Standing just inside the front door was a boy, perhaps twelve or thirteen years old. He had a narrow, angular face and light brown hair, and he was dressed all in white, the same color as the pearly light suffusing the room. In an instant she realized who it was. 

"Kevin," she said. "Kevin Kryder." 

He smiled, and repeated, "Hi, Ms. Scully. I'm sorry if I woke you." 

"No, that's okay," she replied. She looked at him for a moment, then shook her head. "Kevin, what are you doing here?" 

Still smiling, he walked over to stand in front of her. "I told you we'd see each other again," he said. 

"I know. But I didn't expect....this." 

"Sometimes things happen in the manner we least expect," the boy commented. He paused for a moment, then added, "But you already know that." 

Scully was surprised to find herself slipping into acceptance. Kevin was here, and that was all that mattered. But she still wanted to know why. 

She started to frame the question, but before she could speak, Kevin said, "You already know that, too, Ms. Scully. All you have to do is look into your heart." He sat down next to her and turned to face her, one arm flung carelessly over the back of the sofa. 

"I thought I'd been doing that," she said. "Looking into my heart, I mean." 

The boy shook his head. "I don't think so, Ms. Scully," he said softly, solemnly. "Looking into your heart doesn't hurt; at least, not the way you're hurting. Sometimes you find things there that you don't want to know, but that's a good hurt, not a bad one. It's clean." 

She shook her head. "You don't understand," she said. "You can't understand." 

"Because I'm still just a boy?" he asked, then shook his head. "People are people, Ms. Scully. It doesn't matter how old you are, or whether you're male or female, or any of that. What matters is that you're human. Once you accept that about yourself, everything becomes much clearer." His face grew even sadder. "Not that it's easy. It's never easy. Feeling someone else's hurt, accepting it, understanding it...those are hard things to do." He looked directly into her eyes. "Especially when the other person feels empty and incomplete. Especially when she feels that she is not really a woman anymore." 

Kevin paused, then went on, so softly that she could barely hear him. "Some people hurt you, Ms. Scully. They hurt you very badly. They took something from you that is very precious, a very special gift. You've gotten past hating them, at least mostly, and that's good. But you've done it by turning that hate on yourself, and that's bad. It's keeping you from accepting something which would be so good for you, so right. All you have to do is reach out, and you can have your heart's desire." 

She stared at him. "How do you know so much about me?" she whispered. 

He hesitated, then shook his head. "I don't know how to answer that question," he admitted. "All I really know are things you already know yourself. But sometimes it helps to hear them from someone else." He studied her face for a moment. "I hate to see anyone hurting, Ms. Scully. I'd like to help you. I'd like to help you get back that which was taken from you. But you have to take the first step yourself. You have to ask." 

Scully continued to stare at the boy. His face was now serene and untroubled. "I...I don't know how." 

"Yes you do, Ms. Scully. You know how." 

She closed her eyes and tried to think. What did he expect from her? What did he want? None of this was making any sense at all, and she felt desperation welling up inside of her. She had an almost uncontrollable urge to jump from the sofa and run out of the room, but she forced it back down. She was out of places to run to and something deep inside told her that if she turned away from this, she would never have another chance. She felt lost, torn apart, and she couldn't think what to do. 

Please, dear God, help me!>> 

She felt a touch on her abdomen, and her eyes flew open. Looking down, she saw Kevin's hand resting there. She raised her own hand towards his, but she caught a motion out of the corner of her eye, and looking up at Kevin, she saw that he was shaking his head. His eyes were closed and his lips were moving, but she couldn't hear his words. 

She felt a warm, tingling sensation, starting where Kevin's hand rested on her, and spreading rapidly outwards until it seemed to fill her entire body. The pearly light surrounding them intensified, until finally, for a timeless moment, there seemed to be nothing there at all except for her and Kevin. 

And then it was over. Kevin was drawing back his hand, and the light was fading away. In seconds, it was gone. 

Scully looked at Kevin in confusion, but he was smiling a contented smile, and his eyes slowly came open. Before she could say anything, he rose off the sofa and stepped up next to her. "I think you should sleep now, Ms. Scully," he said. 

Gently, he put one hand on each of her shoulders, and she let him guide her down until her head rested on the cushions. Automatically, she drew up her feet, and lay quietly while Kevin took the afghan off the back of the sofa and spread it out on top of her. 

"You sleep now," he said again. "You need your rest." He turned to go. 

Scully grabbed his wrist. "Kevin," she said. "What...what just happened?" 

He looked down at her. "Just sleep," he repeated. "And when you wake up, things will be different." He pulled his wrist free from her hand, and reached down and stroked her cheek. "I can't give you joy, Ms. Scully. No one can do that; you have to find it for yourself. But sometimes a friend can remove a stone from the path, and that makes it easier. Now sleep." 

# # # 

December 25, 7:03 a.m. 

"Dana?" Scully was distantly aware of someone shaking her. "Dana?" 

Slowly, groggily, she opened her eyes. "Mom?" 

"Good morning, sleepyhead." 

Scully looked up at her mother's face, then looked around, confused. She was lying on the sofa in the living room, and for an instant she couldn't remember how she got there. Then everything came flooding back. 

Her hand flew to her wrist, searching for the silver bracelet, but it wasn't there. She sat up, and started digging frantically through the sofa cushions. 

"Are you looking for this?" Mrs. Scully asked, and Scully turned to see the bracelet resting in her mother's hand. She took it from the other woman and slipped it on her wrist. 

"It...it must have fallen off in the night," Scully said awkwardly. 

"It's very beautiful." There was a moment of silence. Then her mother added, "He's a good man, Dana." 

"I know." She stared at the bracelet for a moment. It WAS beautiful. It was perfect. And to think that she had almost thrown it all away. She looked up at her mother again, and the other woman's eyes were warm, loving and compassionate. "Mom, I need to make a call. Do you mind if I use the phone in your room?" 

"Of course not, dear. Give him my love." 

Everything was going to be all right.   
  


Fini   
  


[Go to the next Silver Bracelet story][1]

   [1]: AsIKnewHeWould.html
   [2]: FaithandAcceptance.html
   [3]: Reconciliation.html



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